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Fri, Nov. 4th, 2005, 12:33 am
Oooooooy!
It's been a while. This stupid hurricane named "Wilma" hit. But, it was able to allow a few days off of school which was pretty awesome. I enjoyed the times I had spent with Gerald, Cait, Terra, Edwin, Luis, Liz, and Matt. wh00t. Good times with and without power. From playing Cranium to random TransHatian jokes. (Please do not ask) One day, I wish to be good enough in Capcom VS SNK 2 so I can challenge Edwin. (Sadly, this goal does not look achievable). From Sunday to Wednesday, I spent the days at Gerald's. On Thursday, when I was at home, I spent most of my time with Lupin/Rufus. (=x) didn't really do much, but it was cool hanging around. Got back home on Wednesday morning (Didn't really want to leave) and I was still dying from the lack of sleep. I hardly got a good night's rest, seeing as I did not sleep the day before... And just when I thought my morning couldnt' get anymore interesting.... I ended up being hit on by the cab driver who was taking me back to campus from the airport. He pretty much convinced me to call him whenever! So any gals want more information, contact me. He's lonely. =X But yeah, I'm not sure what can be said now. I'm back in school, stuck with work... "yay". Oh, I might go to this anime convention on Saturday. who knows. Time shall tell... along with monetary standings. Yashiro from KOF: Bye-bai.... (<3~)
Mon, Oct. 17th, 2005, 02:27 pm
Just wow.
I never knew I had such an audience until Mr. Anonymous showed up. I really would like to talk to you and figure out who exactly you are. Do I know you? Have I spoken to you online? I am just curious and thankful for having someone say such nice things like that. I am actually flattered. Anyway, o_o Don't be shy. Just tell me who you are, if you can. kthx.
Sun, Oct. 16th, 2005, 08:35 pm
Uhh yeah..
HI MR. ANONYMOUS. WHO EVER YOU ARE! :D (Yes, Mr. Anonymous has a post dedicated to him and only him!) - And no, I'm not being sarcastic or anything like that, I am really just saying hi.
j0 people out there in the world! Last night was pretty fun, and I greatly appreciated everything... even though we went to a sushi bar. I still drank. :DDDD (Thank you very much, Danny). So basically, after Liz's STUNNING performance at Les Miserable (Christina did awesome too <3) We decided to go to a restaurant to celebrate. (Finally! We're going out) Of course we had some confusion, but that is to be expected right? In the end, we had a grand 'ol table! Christina, Alex (don't ask why), Luis, Matt, Danny, Liz, WINSTON (YES WINSTON) and myself. Thanks to some beers and nice words exchanged... everyone had a grand 'ol time. Atleast, I hope so, because I know I did. It kind of makes me wonder.... We are missing two MAJOR FACTORS in the reunion. I'm not sure if one of the canadiates are willing to build bridges. -Sigh.- Why can't we all just get along? I know in reality, it's not as easy as everyone wants to think, but I am really trying to find out why are we such bad people? So what if we do things that YOU do not agree to, does that still make us bad? So what if are not as ashamed of what we are doing, does that make us awful people? I am wondering if we are actually hated. I mean, we are supposed to be friends, right? I haven't talked to my best friend in a while, and it feels so akward talking to her again. It doesn't feel as if it's the same girl I met X amount of years ago. It feels as if something different has become of her. I just want to make her aware of the fact that it kind of hurts. We don't hang out anymore (not trying to say we have to hang out everyday) but, you know... just with the gang. Oh well. You have your own thing to do. Good luck. don't forget about us. Even if they will, I won't. Have a nice life. :3
Ahh, yes... the undying question. Where have I been? Well! There's so much to say, and such a lot of time to waste. Let us begin! ... I don't know where to start, but let's just put it like this... I've failed to keep up one of my New Years Resolution, and I am not so much kicking myself in the ass for it. If you are wondering what it is, you are going to have to actually IM me. I am not one of those people who "show off" or go telling the world EVERYTHING. :3 Alright! So after that! Skewl time! Right? Well, technically yeah... but the funny thing is, I missed my flight not ichi, ni, but SAN times! (Which is three in Japanese. -loser-) So that was fun, oh... and wanna hear what was also fun? Going to Miami, Florida without a place to stay. How you ask? Well, because it was planned to have an apartment and stuff before school started and move in, but let's just say that did not happen the way we all wanted it to. But luckily and thankfully, I was able to (with the help of my father) get a room at the Best Western close by. Not within walking distance, but it was better than the other option. Besides! I'm across the street from civilization. Unlike Barry, which is stuck in the middle of nowhere. (=/) Okay, okay now for today. Today just had to suck. I basically had to miss two of three classes because of ignorance, poverty, and lack of skills. Let's start off with the "Lack of skill", well... today I was supposed to print pictures for my Photography assignment due next Tuesday... Little did I know, we started printing on this Tuesday, so... With little time to spare, I missed class on Wednesday to make up for it. Sadly, on the night I had to pick it up... most of the pictures did not come out. How you ask? Because I did not have on the flash. (Hmm, and I'm supposed to be a photography major. =/) "Poverty AND Ignorance" These two go hand and hand in this case. Well... After knowing I was royally screwed that night, the next morning (This morning) I woke up extra early to not only take the pictures AGAIN, but to also get them developed BEFORE I had to go to school. (The plan was flaweless)... YET, there was a little problem. The color processor was not on and it takes a while for it to warm up (Which is true, the processor needs to be at a set temperature, before the pictures can be printed). When given the estimated time, and argh'd, I decided to go to Philisophy (at 11:00-12:20) and then skip Theology (at 1:00) to pick up the film. (Who needs Theology anyway. _-_) [note: mind you, I do not have a car, so I would have to take the school provided shuttle to my hotel, go to Walgreens and then head back. Which is longer than you think] So... The plan was set, and I even emailed the Theology teacher a "sick" email, and even attached my work to it! But... sadly, I found out I had NO money to even purchase the pictures, and I left my photo printing paper at home. =( so... yeah. that sucked. Help a poor college student out; literally. =( Oh yeah.. PS: FFVII Advent Children is... SO. So. SO SO SO FUCKING PRETTY. Just to show you how beautiful the movie is:  (Cid Highwind; also the sexiest man in the game. >_>) Just LOOK at the detail of Vincent's Face! Graphics these days is becoming more and more realistic:  Oh and I HAVE THE MOVIE TOO BITCHES.
After a night of seven beers and making an ass of myself... I wake up, and saw an opening to the Mash movie.... And... I heard the song... Woah. It has a hold on me now... Because, the song appears to be true. -Sigh.- If only people did not want me to stay here... ... This song would be my song of death... Yet; I can not kill myself. =/ Although, Mash fans or not, I will post the song upon this post...  Suicide is Painless: Mash opening [movie w/lyrics] Through early morning fog I see Visions of the things to be The pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see That suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please The game of life is hard to play I'm gonna lose it anyway The losing card I'll someday lay So this is all I have to say Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please A brave man once requested me To answer questions tha tare key It is to be or not to be And I replied, Oh why ask me? That suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take it or leave it if I please And you can do the same thing if you please...
Yes, I believe I am becoming majorly obsessed with this one song; "Winter Sonata" And I found it on accident!!! I found it while looking for new ringtones (Which by the way I can not even get a hold of anyway, because my phone has somehow ceased recieving and sending messages; as well as getting online... But, without further adieu... I wish this song can be playing and a mysterious gentleman grabs me by my hand... Me, I ponder? I am not that great, I am chubby and there are plenty of women right for the choosing... His eyes gazed upon mine, and with the song... I was lost in a sea of euphoria...without the medication this time... His hand was so big and yet warm as it envelopes my own... He led the way, and we graciously was off.... Twirling, and slowly pacing ourselves to the song... My heart was quicker than the pace of our steps... The song, him, everything took me in at once... Yet, with a slight tap on my shoulder... My dream is over; as the dream is over... I crack a smile... Was it the dream that made me smile... no.... It was the song, still on repeat... I never knew my emotions can be swayed by such a lovely melody... Can any man fill my heart with emotions like this song is able to do? Probably not. Such a sorrowful song you play, Winter Sonata... PS: Winter Sonata is an actual Korean drama... I think I am going to watch it... 
Before I give detail on what I did, let us deal with the following: Things I have learned while in New York: 1) One can never tour the entire place in a day; it will take more than one. 2) Tourists DO SUCK. Geeze. SHOOBIES. 3) Some random other shit. 4) Bawls can really fuck you up. Seriously, it gives such a rush of stimulant into the brain and it goes throughout the body; 36 hours man. But, we'll get that soon. 5) I have finally proven my insanity. 6) No man can ever catch the kandistar pup. 7) Work sucks so much. Vacations rawk so hard. 8) One rarely eats during vacation. o_o Or maybe that's just me. _______________________________________ Saturday 30th July 2005: Nothing much to be said about this entry; although, things went soo much better than yesterday. Hm. I never knew surfing looked so fun, and yet... poor AJ. (Ace lmao) He couldn't even catch the waves that day... I did sneak in a few pictures like the snapshot happy Photographer. Oh. Yes. Another thing. Capcom is so fucked up man. HOW COULD THE RUIN STREET FIGHTER 2 (The movie)!!!! I mean COME ON NOW. FIRST OFF... YES ALL CAPS. DO I CARE WHAT YOU THINK? NOT RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT. MY CALAMITY HAS JUST BEGAN. Anyway. Come on now Capcom... the dubbed verison of Street Fighter 2 the movie... have you seen it? Obviously not... You would never approve of MIKE BISON saying something as cheesy as "One, Two, Three Strikes your out" while punching Ken Masters consecutively across the jaw. HM HM! Also Capcom! Why cut Guile and Chun Li off? WHY!? They wanted to finish their sentences and YOU would not let them! OH OH OH. SHAMELESS PROMOS, CAPCOM!!! Exhibit A: ST2 480 (?) On Ken's liscense plate. Exhibit B: CAPCOM labeled on trucks. NOT ONCE... BUT I BELIEVE TWICE. Oh yeah. What is with the transitions? I mean, first there can be a fight between Vega and Chun Li and then... Something totally random and not consist with the movie will appear. ALSO. WHY IS AKUMA (GOUKI for you jappy jappy nuts) A FRUIT SELLER!? HE WAS SELLING FRUITS. Only the trained eye could capture it! WHY DID BALROG'S PUPILS DECIDE TO GO IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS DURING THE FINAL SCENES OF THE MOVIE? Did you see them!? I swear! Capcom has some explaining to do! Dude. You may not understand, but I do. A loyal, dedicated Street Fighter fan cares. .... which also reminds me... Capcom, did you notice that Ryu's stage is just about 95% done? Just look at the corner of the screen and then there's a blue spot... with missing pixels. tsk tsk tsk. Oh yeah. On Saturday, we had a blast from the past with Street Fighter. Great great great laughs! Good times, too bad there was no wine... Sunday 31st July, 2005 I woke up at 10:30am********(Please keep this in mind as you continue on with the entry) Ahem. Eitherways. So, 10:30am, Ace had a rendez-vous with his high school friends, Malik and I took NYC by storm. Although, we were not able to see as many places as we wanted. It was just too much up and down, and it was on a Sunday... Hm. Central Park, Empire State Building, International Gallery of Photography, United Nations Center, and The Rockerfeller Center have been raped by the both of us. Yet; sad to say that the Gallery of Photography decided to cheapsake us, and wanted us to pay 10 dollars to get in. (No sir, no sir, no sir) And... the United Nations Center looked kinda... dead. Not even one single flag sailed upon its post. =( Why? I wanted to see it. POR QUE! PORQOUI! Anyway. Now... for the man event... The reason why I am fucked up now... maybe more than ever. Bawls. Yes. Bawls. We found... a 12 pack of Bawls at Comp USA. [Dreams do come true, just believe]. It was a MUST buy and it was a buy. After the tours... excitement came... Ahh... Bawls... Poor Ace could not handle it, He would NOT stop jittering and his WPM was through the roof. [150 WPM is slow he says...] Hm. Poor guy went to sleep early, he had skewl on Monday. Gah, tired hm? Mmm... Malik and I had Bawls... And then, Obsure the game was ours for the taking... It was such a shame that the game not only sucked, the ending sucked, and one of its theme songs sucked, including the music video to the theme song or whatever. That was fun hm? Oh, it was 3ish in the morning. More Bawls was downed, and then... nothing happened. For about a hour we just sat around.. wide awake. I got bold. Downed my fourth bottle and then... played DDR. Poor controller felt nothing but bite marks, I was unable to control myself. Even the piece of cardboard from the Bawls box had no mercy. [Yes, I was going insane] We watched Street Fighter 2 [The dubbed crap, again. Ace did not have any other DVDs, and we did not feel like playing any more fighting games]. Hm. It is 6ish. We are still wired, or I am. I guzzled down and finally finished my 6th bottle. Man. Just wow. We did not eat since 14h (2:00pm) on Sunday, and we could not just raid the refrigetator... so, we spent almost an hour or two just talking about food and how loud or stomachs can growl. -.- pathetic, yeah. Oh man! 9am rolls around! Wanna go to EB games? Oh no, Ace is not up yet, we can not leave the house... Ace: You guys still up? [10:00ish] Malik and Shante: Yes. -Still chatter on about food- Shante: Let's go to EB games. Malik: Okay. Hm. Remember. NO SLEEP. NO FOOD. 12:00 rolls around... NO EB GAMES. AND WE WALKED THE WRONG WAY AND ENDED UP IN ANOTHER TOWN. THE BRIDGE WAS SCARY. ARGH. Thankfully, you thought it was over? No. No sleep. And this is where I am today. Hot, tired, sweaty from Sunday and Monday's exercise, and in total OFF mode. JUST OFF. SHUT DOWN!? NOT YET. ugh. 9:30, must be picked up... tour of DC. Can I do it? Let fate decide. [/end transmission] Do not tell me it does not make sense. It is 12:06am. I have not slept since 10:30am on Sunday. I have not eatten since 12:40pm on Monday. Can I see a doctor? I think I am going nuts.
Mon, Aug. 1st, 2005, 12:18 am
LMAO.
THOUGHT I WAS DONE!?
A FEW OTHER THINGS TO SAY
MY FEET HURT. =(!
The Salvadors sooo own! Thank you for letting us niggahs stay at your nice clean Flip house (Phillipino) LMAO.
<333333
And so, without further adieu... the first day in New York begins! And well, I am not going to lie, I enjoy it... and yet at the same time I feel alone. I do not know why... I am thinking it is because of the following... FIRST: I am fat. LMAO. XDDD SECOND: I am hanging out with single guys who look at other females, and well.. I am just one of the guys. Lmao, in the end... I suppose that it is not as bad, but for the time being it sorta sucks, ya know? I do not want to bitch and whine about it, but, at times even the insane get lonely! Meh. -.- But, I can not get lonely! This is supposed to be my days of freedom! Gah, I've been around testestrones for FAAAAAAAAAAAAAR too long. -Sigh.- I am also hungry... I haven't eatten since 11am... And let the second phase of fasting begin! -.-
 Well, as I've told everyone who has asked me about work; I reply with this... "I never knew people would come into the store exactly when it opens. Especially into a party store." The people there are kinda cool, but the cash register was kinda old... like ancient old. Just when you think it's done... more people come to buy crap. Just being there made me miss Food Lion [I am going to regret saying that later]... but it really did. Atleast at Food Lion, HAD cashiers. The morning cashier only consisted of two people, and then there's me... the new one. I was already taking over the register in about two hours. Of course there is a lot of stuff to learn, but all in due time. The one thing I really do not like is answering the phone... and they expect me to do that already, even though I kind of told them that I have NO experience working the phones. I hate phone-customer service! Oh well, sooner or later I will find another job to fill in for the gaps in where they do not schedule me. Eight hours went by pretty fast... so, then after a sweating day of work [I was sweating because it was hot in there, and they claim the AC to be on], I went home. On the bus, I began to think about religion for the silliest reason. We all know, I am not much of a Catholic [Regardless of the school I go to] nor am I religious... nor even know a lot about religion itself. Though, as for Christianity... I can not believe people let a book control their lives. Believing in something is understandable because as my mother says "We all need something to believe in." If people are able to change their lives for the better because they believe, then more power for them. I am happy for them; but as for the psychotic religious zealots... what the hell? Would their God REALLY appreciate how they handle their situations... really. Just sit and think about it for a moment. As for example: Homosexuality. To get one thing straight, I am not a lesbian, nor am I bi/bi-curious nor ever have been. How can people treat a human being so, because of their sexual preference? If God is "all loving", why would their followers mentally, physically, and emotionally abuse the pariah? It does not make sense to me. I am not the brighest tact in the shelf; [I said that on purpose to prove a point]however, I know what is right and what is wrong, regardless of what an ancient text says. The Bible is not to follow direct word from word, but to guide people and teach them lessons. It also makes me laugh when people use to back up their points with quotes from the text. AS IF WHAT SOME DUDE SAYS WOULD PERSUADE ME. Come on now! It's Aquaman's language vs Beastmaster's. It won't work. Besides! In all honesty, I believe some of the guidelines were based upon the person's experience. I can go on forever... but I won't. Also today, I've figured out that... I am done with a certain person. It used to hurt all the time but now... I have finally closed that chapter. When and if he grows up and knows what he is missing... then we'll see how that goes... But for now, we'll let him play. :D Oh yes! Something we shall all laugh at! These are ACTUAL QUOTES people. 100% real and said by people on television. The game: Weakest Link. Theme: Inpersonaters. Question [Host]: What is the most popular fish topping on pizza? Answer [Whoopie Goldberg impersonator]: ... I don't know.. tuna? Question: [Host]: What is the capital of Jamaica? Answer [Jay Leno impersonator]: ... I don't know... Jerk chicken? Bah, I have to go to sleep in the next 15 minutes. -_-;; I have to be at work by nine. I question public's intelligence. / End transmission \
Tue, May. 31st, 2005, 01:36 pm
_-_
 All I can say is, I looked in the mirror earlier on and gave myself a full look. -_-;; oh my, I wish I didn't do it, but I did.
Tue, May. 31st, 2005, 03:01 am
Your Birthdate: November 23 |
With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.
You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas.
You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.
You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.
Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.
A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine.
You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility.
Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion. |
For this one: OMFG. YEAH RIGHT. THAT IS NOT ME. LIES, LIES, LIES. Lie #1: "Talented" = Yeah right, if I was talented, then show me my talents! I HAVE NO TALENTS, except for riding a bike and making myself look like a fool; but I believe the entire human race has that capability. =/ Lie #2: "Your mind is quick" = Um, quick as a snail. Lie #3: "clever" = Clever as an imbred backyard Budwieser drinkin' West Virginian. (No offense)
You Are 14 Years Old |
14
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
| Sweet! ^__^ I knew I was young at heart. [Now Derrick will give me a chance! Lmao. j/k.]
Your #1 Match: INFP
|
The Idealist
You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. |
Your #2 Match: INTP
|
The Thinker
You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor. |
Your #3 Match: ENFP
|
The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. |
Your #4 Match: ENTP
|
The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor. |
Your #5 Match: ISFP
|
The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. |
Waaah. The first one sounds right, I wish the last option was the second one. ;-;
You Are Chocolat Orange Pocky |
Your attitude: funky and flavorful
Rich and deep - yet zingy and zesty
You are the perfect partner in crime
| I wish it was strawberry. That's sooo good! ^__^
 My, my, my. What a day I had. First to get things started; I went to DC and met up with a friend of mine named Malik or Rufus. xP I should of known that the Metro Center was going to be crowded, but nooo I had to find out the hard way. So, we began to walk around DC looking at the momuments, not really interested in anything. Then, we decided to head over to Silver Spring and of course, it starts to rain. -_-;; I haven't been to City Place (A mall in Silver Spring) in YEARS. So, it was refreshing to go there once more. Time Out [Arcade] is still there! They have DDR Extreme, INITIAL D 3!!!, Capcom VS SNK, Street Fighter III Third Strike, and more! Geeze they had a lot of good games, but it was such a shame that it is small. First, I played Street Fighter III Third Strike and... lost after three people. I forgot who I lost too, but he was a bastard for kicking my behind! >O Then, I played Silent Scope, which is a lot harder than I thought!! Geeze, I wonder how the DC Sniper did it. We left the arcade and then got something to eat. Then, we went back to the arcade and saw INITIAL D 3!!! OMFG. THAT GAMES OWN SOOO MUCH. I played it against Malik and lost to him. He pretty much cheated and beated me at the end! How cheaap! Then, I played again against the computer and kicked the computer's ass. GOD THAT GAME IS FUN. IT WAS WORTH THE TWO DOLLARS. After the Arcade, we walked around the mall some more and then went to Wheaton. We pretty muched went window shopping and roamed around the mall a bit until then we decided to go. It was about 8-ish anyway, and we had been out since 1-2. -_-;; Sadly, I forgot it was Memorial Day, and because neither of the buses I had to take was running I had to walk home. IT TOOK A FREAKIN HOUR. But, I am glad that it is over. Oh yeah. I should of played DDR Extreme but I didn't. I did not want to play alone and besides, the arcade pads suck!! ;-; Oh... DDR Extreme also played Synchronized Love and made me think of Nate. XD Nate = DDR Champion. =D! [To me atleast] Peace out homies.
Ahh, another song that touches the depth of my 'soul'. This is such a good song, so good, I began to stix with this song. [stix = glow sticking] It's a slow and mellow, but just right. The crimson-stained sun has illuminated everything; now and the past is what i have more imagined within this twilight more than my own hands can accomplish? please teach me how to live a little more vulnerable than i do now won't you taint me just a little? that way, even if i get hurt and lose everything around me this song of truth will flow through my heart this dispute will probably go on about that which is most precious i've become a reble, i've overlooked things even the gentle smiles of strangers if eternity knows what manner of darkness and when pain will vanish, then that way, you shall taint me i looked always to yesterday, to the castles in the sky when will i be able to follow them? this song of truth shall be my guide if eternity knows what manner of darkness and when pain will vanish, this song of truth will flow through my heart now, please, taint me just a little please, just taint me, only a little this song of truth shall be my guide. Shinjistu no Uta - Do As Infinity fyi: 5th ending to Inu Yasha and of course, this is english translations. =)
Sat, May. 21st, 2005, 12:16 am
oh my...
i guess i just realized something i have to thank my friend for being honest he says i might be jealous. i suppose he's right. what am i to do? this pain continues to tear up inside of me it continues to scratch within my 'soul' clawing away at whatever's left to shred why do people give me such wonderful praises? when in the end, the praises are just empty lies to comfort that person we all know i cut and i want to cut more deeper, deeper into my flesh i want to see myself bleed seeing as my heart is already doing so but what heart? just another organ that pumps blood and oxygen throughout my meaningless vessel i'm full of organs, blood, and guts yet emotionally empty spiritually lost mentally gone i ask you, why keep me going? why feed me lies? do you like me realizing the truth so i can fall apart again? well... i know no one can save me i can not even save myself hopefully... i can go far off the deep end next time, dont stop me just wish me a peaceful passing
So, how are you kiddies? I hope you're doing well. During this week, I have been going through a series of depression moodswings, and I am trying to figure out why the hell I am going through it. When I am at school I get violent, when I'm at home I get depressed... But in school the feeling is not as frequent as the depression I am facing at home. There are many conclusions about why I am getting frequent depressed; but, no need to waste your time in telling you. I'll let your imaginations go crazy! Also, I really think that people, especially my friends, should stop telling me good news for a while. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I am not having anything good happening to me. SO, why pour wonderful information onto someone who doesn't have any good information to throw back? Don't you think it is a bit cruel? It is just the same as someone[coupled] telling another person [single] about how much they love their significant other, and the new information about their relationships. OH WAIT. YOU BITCHES DO THAT TO ME TOO. NO ONE IS LEFT OUT WHEN I SAY THIS. [>_> Unless you're single.] How very unthoughtful! Sympathy for the loser, please. And, I am going to let it out. Right now, I can careless if someone is "missing" their other. Get the fuck over it you wuss. You'll probably see them again sooner or later. Oh wait, YOU WILL; so no need to cry, bitch, moan, and complain about missing them. >_> It's kind of your fault for going with them, and getting soo attached. Bitter am I? Yes. I am not afraid to say it anymore. I AM BITTER. And I must thank all of my taken friends! Thank you for making me bitter! =D! [ I will not mean this later on but for now ] Fuck you. =)
I haven't taken notice in all the memories on Canti. All of a sudden, because I had nothing else better to do, I began to browse at my bookmarked webpages from about the time when Canti was born. And to my surprise, I have a lot of RO webpages stored. (Oh man, good times.) I was able to find the good 'ol Character Simulator. To surprise me even more... I created the Rogue with short brown hair, cat ears, and a Romantic Leaf. This is very sad, yes... but it reminds me of someone. Lol. Good times, I swear! I am still waiting for him tell me hi again. ^_^ After the suffering I've been through, I still smile the same way. Why? Am I setting myself up for a fall again? If so... I do not care. I am loyal, so I will wait.  Puppies can dream too.
After a grueling three months of nothing but painful, painful slavery, I am finally free from classes and from exams! I would say that I am finished with school, but I have to stay on campus until Saturday (Which is a drag... somewhat...) I wonder what this summer will bring. Hopefully a paycheck. ._. Ohh, ohh, or maybe I will have a summer fling like Andrew said? Nah, he's on drugs anyway. I'll miss everyone I claim as my friends, yes, even Joe. Although he doesn't talk to me anymore. Oh well, let us not quarrel for little reasons. For we are all friends! (Or, atleast I am still believing so.) This semester was just not its best. Let us make Fall 05 shine! ;-; please? May this summer bring excitment! Or just bring something, I will need it. ;-; Oh yeah, that reminds me. When I was in the Photolab on Monday, I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of Naruto SOO much. Like, the song was somewhat the same, and seemed like it was sampled and used in the anime. I don't know... It was just weird to hear something on the radio station (IN MIAMI) and compare it to a Japanese anime. Question Of the Day: Did you shout at the devil today?
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